Storming in the eye of life

I wanted to include this poem, which I wrote probably4-5 years ago, because it has become a sort of goal statement for my life (if you can call a poem that -- maybe I mean vision statement, I'm just not up on corporate-speak, thank goodness! The strange title is deliberate, I took the idea of "living in the eye of the storm", ie, staying safe and placid in a tumultuous word, and turned it upside down. As a child I was taught to live by fear, and wasted too many years of my life trying to live safe. Now, in whatever way it works out, i want to live large, by faith, no longer circumscribed by negativity, but willing to risk in order to become. (well, that's where I'm aiming, not where I've reached ..)

STORMING IN THE EYE OF LIFE

I shall bear no longer with the tiny life:
The small frozen circles, careful not to offend.
I have supped too long on little thinking
Caution and fear, negotiating hedges of memory,
Diminishing myself to be less than what I am.

I must drink life now before the cup is passed from me,
Now and whenever, when my heart remembers passion,
I must claim it as my own, rebuilding my own birthright
Which I never had before.
This is blood in my veins and I matter.
Being Another’s handiwork, I need not apologise for being,
But take my place in the universe, shrinking no longer.

I would laugh with the wind in my hair, being glad of its muscle.
I would choose good boldly, conquering my back-looking
With the power of choice, and the choice to accept my power;
Being no longer afraid that all strength must be evil.

I will let my tears become a sacrament,
And my hands be the hands of a Doer.
I will train my tongue in Truth, let my ears be the ears of a Listener,
Listening to small sounds and great, and refusing no understanding.
Let my knees be the knees of a servant, bending to cherish,
Let my eyes gaze upwards, fixed on unnamable Beauty,
And my feet tread firmly, finally shod in sureness.

I shall live, being glad of life, having faced down its terror,
Knowing that I am small, but my shadow enormous
When the Light from beyond all worlds is blazing on me.
I shall take up the gift refused, become all I can be,
And enter the gates with my trumpet stretched out and blaring.