Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Psalm of an Abused Woman

I have watched the sands sinking
Through the hourglass of life
And my own hope drained away.
Betrayal that goes to the bone:
Heart knit to heart now bleeding
Haemorrhaging faith.

I have felt the waves wash over me, the salt of soul’s destruction,
While your words beat against my ears
No longer tuned to you,
But hearing just the buzz-saw as you sliced me up.
I have felt my very limbs go limp:
Muscle melt against muscle with no force to hold them up,
While the poison of condemnation
Turns all strength to sickness.

I know myself as nothing,
And go down into the dark.

But the light shines in the darkness
And the darkness has not overcome it.
And He who became nothing
Is here where you cannot go.
Saviour, Lover, Deliverer ..
He cherishes my tomorrows
Which you had ground down to dust.

I shall awake in His likeness
Fully, fully satisfied ,
My bare heart overwhelmed.

He shall give me strength where I have no strength
And His song shall light my way.
He has called this worm to be warrior
And His weapons are Light and Truth.
I shall strike down the lies that you told me,
And laugh in the shining hour.
I shall dance on the grave of my heartbreak
Fully loved .. at last!


Milly said...

I shall dance on the grave of my heartbreak

Fully loved .. at last!

Yes I shall! Soon very soon yet not soon enough!

Suzanne R said...

Powerful, Lynne. I am going to print this poem out and hang it on my wall.

karen said...

This is good stuff, Lynne.

eclexia said...

"While the poison of condemnation
Turns all strength to sickness"

This whole poem is very powerful. I cringe a bit when I hear people talk about how women need to learn to be strong and empowered to avoid or get out of abuse. I have found that abuse doesn't need weakness to thrive. It's its own dance, and if you are weak and limp in response, it gets worse. And if you are strong in response, it gets worse.

I have walked through it. And now am trying to help a friend who is walking through it and trying to find a way out. There are so few answers, and so much pain.

I appreciate how you communicate so vividly both the reality of the pain and horror, and the hope and hopefulness beyond what is seen and experienced at this moment.