She had always lived right on the edge, both literally and
figuratively: literally, because her house was right on the city wall;
figuratively because she inhabited the outskirts of society, in a kind of
no-man’s-land (or, more accurately, no-woman’s-land). Living on the wall had
never bothered her, after all, she had to live somewhere, and this was a
position that gave her (and her customers) some privacy to come and go as they
needed. Living at the edge of society was not so pleasant. A woman alone had to
make a living as best she could, and she was fortunate to have a property. But
a woman innkeeper was always suspect; for different reasons both men and women
assumed that she was only too happy to give her customers (who, after all, were
almost always men) whatever else their lustful hearts desired of her. It was
very wearying to have to steer her days through the buffeting currents of male
lust and female disdain. And now, if rumour was true, her property was about to
become totally worthless. It was time to rethink everything.
When the men came, she knew who they were, and willingly gave
them shelter. There was something about them she liked – a kind of cleanness
and honesty. They looked at her as if she were a person, and not just a chattel
for their use. And besides, if she were to have any future at all, she would
need them. She had much to consider.
Rationally, it seemed an easy choice. If even half of what
was whispered about them was true, there was no future at all unless she cast
her lot in with them. They were not a large people in numbers or military
strength, but the trail of victories and miracles that accompanied their march
indicated that something remarkable was happening. They claimed (this was
well-known) that it was the favour of their God which had enabled their success,
and she saw no reason to doubt it. Besides, she had long since lost faith with
the Baals of her people. However, it was a huge step. She had crossed many
boundaries in her time, losing her respectability in order to live in relative
freedom and comfort, but this boundary was much harder. It meant giving up her
own people, her own city, and becoming one of an alien people with an alien
god. It meant starting from the bottom all over again, knowing that she would
come among them as one of a despised and conquered race. But wasn’t the
alternative death? She found herself praying to this God she did not know.
For hours she struggled and it was only when she heard the
approaching footsteps on the street outside, and rushed to hide her guests
under the flax spread out on her rooftop, that she realised that her mind was
already made up. The very act of hiding the spies was a betrayal of her people
– at least they would certainly see it as such! Somewhere, at some deep place
inside herself, she had already made her mind up. She had crossed an
unthinkable boundary, the only thing that remained was make it actual. She
didn’t think it would be a problem, after all, her quick thinking had already
saved their lives. By every custom of human decency they owed her a life ...
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