He had had enough. Home was boring.
Every time he tried to have fun, his father would smile at him, sure, but he
wasn’t imagining the quiet sorrow in his father’s eyes. It made him feel
awkward. He needed to go somewhere where those eyes didn’t make him feel guilty
just by seeing what he was doing. He needed to somewhere where those eyes
couldn’t see him at all, so he didn’t need to even imagine that he might be
grieving them. He would have his revenge on guilt and shame – he would go away
where his father never had to look at him again! That would be sweet.
Then there was his brother. If his
father made him feel sad just by looking in his direction, his brother would go
out of his way to make him feel angry. Every time he gave himself a break,
every time he so much as stopped to enjoy the blueness of the sky, let alone an
extra glass of wine, his dutiful paragon of a brother would have something
sarcastic to say about how useless he was, and how he didn’t do his fair share.
Well, he’d had enough. He’d go away and leave his brother to do all the work. That
would be a fitting revenge. That would be very sweet.
……………………………………………………………
It didn’t work out quite as he’d
planned. Oh, it went well at first. But when the money was all gone, so was the
wine, women and song. He was amazed that so much money could disappear so
quickly. And when the money went, so did his “friends”. Suddenly the far
country he had fled to didn’t look so wonderful any more. And there was famine
in the land. The only job he could get was looking after pigs. Could he sink
any lower? And he was so hungry …
There was nothing for it. In order
to survive, he would have to return with his tail between his legs and beg for
a servant’s position in the house he had left as a son. How they would mock
him! What a sweet moment of revenge that would be for the father he had shamed
and despised. But there comes a moment in a man’s life when survival is more
important than pride, when envying the pigs for the husks they ate is seen as a
fool’s game when he could have a decent wage and a full stomach for the cost of
a little humility. (And could his pride hurt any more than it already did?)
So he rose and went forth, and as he
walked the long, dragging pitiless miles home (there was no fine horse any
more, he had sold it long ago) he rehearsed, over and over, the abject words he
would say to try and soften his father’s heart. What if they turned him away?
He had given them every right to do so.
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